6 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive After Having Kids

There is nothing quite as life-altering as having children. The arrival of our sweet babies quickly changes our priorities, schedules, eating habits, and well, pretty much everything. 

With so much of our lives revolving around the needs of our children, it’s easy to let the relationship you share with your partner take a backseat. 

Think about it…at one point, your relationship probably included dinner dates, trips to the movies, late evenings out with friends, last-minute travel plans, and more “intimacy” than most couples experience after having children. 

Remember those days? 

As any parent knows, every single one of those things is more complicated after having children. Time alone is less frequent and date nights out are now considerably more expensive. Hello, babysitting fees! 

Not to mention, children are exhausting! They require a great deal of energy and attention throughout the day, and in many cases, the night. This exhaustion can pretty quickly take a toll on any couple’s love life. 

Maintaining a solid and dare I say, a romantic relationship with your partner after having babies is possible with some intentionality, planning, and a mindset shift when it comes to the way you view your relationship.

Children require us to adjust and reinvent the way we approach our relationships. 

The way you used to do things in your relationship likely isn’t going to work now, and THAT’S OKAY! It’s a new and exciting chapter. An opportunity for you to grow as a couple in ways you’ve never had to before. 

If you’ve recently had a baby and are looking for ways to maintain your relationship, or years of child-rearing has taken a toll on your marriage and you’re in need of a “reset”, here are 6 excellent ideas for keeping the romance alive after having kids! 

6 Ways For Parents To Maintain A Healthy Love Life

Create A “Date Night At Home” Jar

For most couples, the frequency with which you can go out sans children will likely decrease significantly after your babies are born. No worries! Date nights at home after your children are in bed can be just as fun if well planned and thought out. Take some time to brainstorm some fun “at home” date ideas and create a list or write ideas on popsicle sticks to put in a jar. When you find yourselves with a free night at home, grab a stick and enjoy a fun activity together. Date Night Ideas: play a board game, have a cook-off, do a puzzle and share a bottle of wine, watch a romantic comedy, take turns giving each other massages, etc.

Have A Weekly Relationship Meeting

The logistics of running a family sometimes means there are important “business” conversations that need to be had in order to keep the family functioning. For many couples, these types of conversations can quickly become the only conversations. This can lead to increased stress and tension in your relationship and can have adverse effects on your romance.Make time once a week to sit down as a couple and discuss important relationship businesses like the upcoming week’s schedule, financial updates, or conflicts/frustrations that need to be worked through. This gives you a safe and low-stress environment to discuss important topics and frees up more time throughout the week to enjoy fun, interesting conversation with your partner.

Enjoy “Screen-Free” Time Together

Now don’t get us wrong…we love a good Netflix binge! But when all of your time together is spent in front of a screen, you are missing out on valuable opportunities for connection and relationship strengthening. Take some time to put away the computer, turn off the cell phone, and have a conversation with your partner. Discuss a podcast you’re both listening to or brainstorm your next couples vacay together.

Plan For Monthly Dates

As mentioned above, date nights at home are a great option when you can’t get out…but it’s still a good idea to make time for a date “just the two of you” every once in a while. Having a date night scheduled on the calendar can give both of you something to look forward to a build healthy anticipation in your relationship. If you have family in the area or access to a babysitter, reach out and see about scheduling a monthly or bimonthly date night. If can’t afford babysitting, consider doing a “babysitting swap” with another family who could use a date night.

Schedule Sex

This might not sound “romantic” but for parents of young children, it can be a helpful way to keep the romance alive in your relationship. For many couples, sex is one of the first things to go after having children. It becomes all too easy when you are tired and overwhelmed by the daily demands of parenting to say “not today.” Sex isn’t the whole sum of romance…but it is an important piece of a healthy relationship. Make intimacy with your partner a priority by making it a calendar commitment. And once the kids are older and spontaneity is back on the table – make the first move!

Get “Playful” With Your Messages

Remember when you were dating and you used to send each other flirty text messages because you just couldn’t wait to talk to your partner? It’s time to bring that habit back into practice. Playful, sexy text messages are a great way to let your partner know that you’ve been thinking about them and will help both of you get in the mood for some fun after the kids are in bed. 

Here at CLEbaby, we are parents just like you, offering support to help you truly enjoy being a parent! Check out the CLEbaby blog for more inspiring articles and helpful parenting tips.